Lets Fix Human Rights Before Animal Rights.

People who advocate animal rights both frustrate and fascinate me. While I don’t and never will support being cruel to an animal just because, I have no care in the world if a calf is taken from its mother too soon in order to stimulate milk production and I have a very good reason why. Because I am going to eat the calf as veal. That’s right I am going to chow right down and be not even the slightest concerned about how my dinner felt about its circumstance. When the mother is done producing milk, I am libel to eat her to.  I look at chicken the same way. Now, if you want to apologize to the chicken before it’s head is lobbed off and its feathers plucked and then breaded and fried, that is up to you but don’t expect me to give a hoot. When I see a pig, I don’t see some poor sap who is going to die. I see a garbage recycling bacon factory.

“What if it was you?” asks the typical animal rights activist. Well, that would depend. Do I go better with A1 or Heinz 57? Or would BBQ be a better idea. Perhaps with a light sauce? What wine would you serve? These are important things to know before I could answer that.  For all you animal rights, free range, organic hipsters,  while you are paying two bucks more for some happy chicken eggs, I am buying cheaper eggs and more of them and walking past you thinking I am glad I am not you.  When I buy that hunk of nicely marbled cow flesh, I not wondering if the poor animal suffered. I am going home, slapping it on the grill till it is carcinogenic and then pouring a chemical on it, we call sauce and savoring every bite.

“But it is healthier for you and the animal.” No it isn’t. An egg is an egg is an egg. It is going to elevate my cholesterol no matter what.  The bacon does that just cause I looked at it in anticipation.  “Its better for you cause they don’t put chemicals like hormones in them.” according  to some animal rights activists. Guess what? Most of us people who eat don’t care. First of all, if I wanted a skinny meal I could eat a barbie doll and get the same amount of “meat”. I am eating the chicken cause I like meat that in this case happens to be chicken not cause I plan on giving it a doctor’s exam.  Furthermore, I want antibiotics in my chicken or beef cause I don’t want it to be a sick cow just a lazy, fat one.

To really set animal rights activists off, I like to tell them the truth. The honest truth is I like hunting. I like using a high power rifle and killing the crap out of something. Also, I don’t like to eat it. That’s right… I don’t like, deer, raccoon, snake, wild pig, quail or any game animal for that matter. I go hunting with friends cause I want to shoot the deer not cause I want to eat it. At this point I sound like a complete bastard but my transformation is not complete cause I don’t waste the meat. I give it to one of the people who will eat it. I will not shoot it if someone isn’t going to eat it.

Lets get to the crux of the issue. While it is fine, well and good to want to protect animals from abject cruelty. The persistent attempts to infiltrate production facilities for the purpose of turning people away and the posting of billboards promoting your so called better lifestyle hurts more people in the long run than having a few happy free roaming chickens.  We have human rights issues in this country that deserve more attention than having a celebrity pose naked for a advertisement so people can feel good that they don’t wear fur. There are people going hungry in this country and you are already trying to force the raising of prices of essential food stocks that provide necessary protein. While your intentions might be noble, you focus your energies in the wrong place. I am not trying to protect people who bury cats alive or harm puppies but you have to face the reality of the situation that till we can feed all of our fellow man, having a mentally stable, well adjusted chicken or cow serves very little purpose in the grand scheme of things.  Don’t get the wrong idea, if you want to buy free range eggs or specially raised beef that’s fine but don’t push it on others and don’t act like you are a better person than others that don’t or can’t buy those.

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